Please Sir

Picture the scene:

At the Beckenham training ground, Victor, cleaned up amid unaccustomed luxury, looks out of the window to see street sellers’ Warnock, Jordan and Finnigan. They begin to sing in style of the round-

FINNIGAN (sings):
Who will buy, our Victor Moses? Tottenham have bid a penny!
(repeat)

WARNOCK (sings):
Ripe, Shaun Derry, ripe!
(repeat)

JORDAN:
Me, oh my!
I don't want to lose it
So what am I to do
To keep the sky so blue?
There must be someone who will buy...

Now, those clever/cultured/sad amongst you have already noticed that:

a) the above is a (bloody good) parody of the ‘Who Will Buy…’ song, taken from the musical ‘Oliver.’

and

b) the more cleve-er/cultured-er/sad-er will notice that JORDAN’s lyrics are a direct lift, no witty editing required-

and this rather aptly sums up the clubs’ current plight. Jordan doesn’t want CPFC to go down the pan, but if nobody wants to buy it - what is he to do?
We’re in dire financial straits, yet currently showing glimmers of a team that’s got a great work ethic, strong team spirit and a few players that can change a game on demand. We don’t own our ground (I don’t think? It is hard to keep up sometimes) and our ever-increasing debts render it difficult for us to even pay wages.
It’s like trying to sell a clapped-out old Toyota Previa that’s about to pack up, but does have a Kenwood 6 CD changer, beaded seat covers (driver and passenger) and half a tin of Simpkins Fruit Drops in the glove-box.
All in all, the things that make our club “attractive” are merely a few shiny bits that can easily be stripped away from the chassis. Moses, Clyne, Speroni and potentially Ambrose and Scannell, are all bound to end up in the Premier League sooner or later; and if anybody comes in with a decent offer, even a half-decent offer, come January 1st, they’ll be gone before your new years’ hangover. (Some corners of the media are even finding time to report that others are even courting Shaun “renaissance man” Derry!)
And who can blame them? The first three especially are class players, too good for us, too good for the Championship, and quite inflammatorily, too good for two-thirds of the Premier League (if any of them end up at Wigan/Hull/Bolton etc, I’ll be disappointed whatever the price.) Even if our club were financially secure with no immediate worries, I would not begrudge any of them a move.
I don’t need to go into Speroni‘s on pitch worth - but his general demeanor, attitude and professionalism is a cut above. If he is (or ever has been) one iota unhappy in his time at Palace, we’ve never known about it. Premier League move or not- he deserves to at least board Maradona’s plane of chaos next summer. Fingers crossed for him.
Clyne, similarly in his short spell in the Red ‘n’ Blue limelight has demonstrated maturity way beyond his years in both his on and off pitch persona. Again, destined to go onto much bigger thing-s but something in my gut, amongst the highly recommended M&S connoisseur mince pies, red wine and cheese (Roquefort if you’re wondering), is an instinct that he will still be here come February time.
Then we come to Victor. Enough skill and trickery to part the red sea! The red-sea that was Barnsley’s defense didn’t have to read the Old Testament to discover that. By all accounts on the various Crystal Palace messageboards, there seems to be a feeling that Victor himself is very happy at Palace and his badge-caressing celebration against Watford would seem to support this. Whilst that should be the deciding factor in where his immediate future lies, we need money quick snap and Victor, especially with his recent weeks antics, is the easiest solution to that problem.
It’s that familiar tasting CPFC sod’s law: We have an amazingly talented youngster who has been nurtured and unleashed by the club he loves and wants to play for (sounds familiar right?) and is barely into his 3 year contract. Yet the financial fates conspire against us and leave us in a situation where people like Victor Moses, are luxuries we can’t afford to hold onto. Unless the wafer-thin rumors of a takeover come to fruition soon (please Santa, pleeeease), then we should prepare for a life/team without “VicMo” in any shade of red n blue (he’s not going to Barca just yet methinks.)

Onto the Christmas period- two important games, two tough games. The ‘sell-out Ipswich’ campaign seems to be gathering pace and this is exactly what Crystal Palace FC needs right now. It’s great to see that even in the current financial climate, at this expensive time of year- people still find the time and money to help the cause.
Bums on seats gives the club much needed cash and thinking a little longer-term, the bigger crowds makes the club look more attractive to any potential buyer (please Santa, pleeeease!)

Forget the frankincense, forget the myrrh- let’s hope we all get David Gold for Christmas eh?

Enjoy your turkey, try to enjoy the sprouts and enjoy the game.


Merry Christmas all

PTTP