Administration... so fun we're doing it again!

Administration pounced yesterday... deep down, we all knew it would happen.
Even selling Moses for the much-hoped £5million would barely have suggested to the wolf that he move away from the door, let alone keep him away from it.

The negatives of administration certainly don't need going over, in fact- negativity of any sort isn't needed right now.

What is needed is the togetherness that hauled us through similar circumstances 11 years ago. The same togetherness that willed in that goal at Stockport. The same togetherness that took us up to the Premier League in 03/04 and the collective belief that nearly kept us there.

With a shrug and a smile, on we go! It'd be typical Palace if this time tomorrow, we had another 3 unlikely points to help keep the fire burning.

Ladies and gentlemen, please keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle, hold on tight, and smile for the camera- it's gonna be a bumpy ride!



PTTP

Da Do Ron Ron

Good day! It’s certainly been a while.

Thanks to those who voted in the poll, a fairly interesting outcome. For the record, we agree with the majority.

Since we last updated (I refuse to say ‘blogged’), we’ve been to Plymouth and won a vital 3 points, come away from Wolves unlucky (or lucky from a financial point of view) to have a replay, Moses is still here and so are our financial woes.
I must say, I thought there’d be a lot more big bad changes to talk and moan about.


The team did fantastically well at Plymouth. Not a particularly great place to go at anytime. But before playing us they’d beaten Cardiff away, smashed Reading at home, and held Newcastle to a draw in the cup before going out in the replay. Taking that into account, throw in the awful pitch conditions and the 3 points were never going to be easy to achieve. The fact that it needed a(nother) Moses wonderstrike to overcome them, indicates Plymouth’s contribution to the match.


A few days later and the BBC treated us to the Carling Cup semis- both very watchable, both very different. Man City didn’t turn up for the first half, Man United didn’t turn up for the second. Neville, after 15 years suddenly became an interesting character by apparently ‘sucking off Ferguson’s boots’ and then fingering Tevez! What a slut!
Carlos Tevez is swiftly becoming my favourite Premier League player (ssssh, don’t tell Warnock.) After his acrimonious departure from the Manchester Reds (that’s the colour of the shirts, not the managers’ face), all the talk of was how Ferguson “didn’t think Tevez was worth the pre-agreed fee.”
Which is quite frankly an arrogant, bullshit-ridden, refusal to actually admit the truth. That truth being they simply couldn’t afford him. You only have to look at the signings Fergie did make to see that. £16million for a flash-in-the-pan Wigan winger, wages only for an ex-England international that would’ve been put down years ago if he were a racehorse (something Fergie should know full well) and a barely known, injured French U21.

T’was a simple case of not having enough cash to seal the deal that was already agreed- nothing to be ashamed of but evidently backed up by last week’s reports that had they not sold Cristina Ronaldo for £80m, they would have made a total annual loss of £40m!
There was absolutely no need to insult Tevez’s abilities, at the time of letting him go (Fergie) or just before the cup game (Neville) so who can blame him for giving it a bit of a Chas ‘n’ Dave-esque “yup yup rabbit yup yup yup rabbit rabbit bunny jabber yup rabbit” gesture?
Let’s hope for a little more at Wednesday’s 2nd leg.



On Saturday, Palace went to Wolves for the FA Cup, alas, I went to the IMAX to see ‘Avatar’- something I’d booked long before we progressed into the 4th round. From just after 3pm, my phone went on a mad vibrating spree with updates that I was too scared to take out of my pocket to read. The fear stemming from a potential scalding by the uber-nerds next to/behind/all around me, plus I also didn’t want to see the score whilst wearing 3D glasses. To see news that we may be winning in three dimensions could potentially blow my mind more than the 50ft, blue smurf/human/cat hybrids that seemed to be trying to poke me directly in the eyes for 3 hours.
And to see news that we were getting tonked in three dimensions would be more depressing than the sci-fi native death fest playing out before me. (It’s actually quite enjoyable on the whole, go see it at IMAX if you can- visually amazing, OK story.)

By all accounts, we were unlucky not to walk away with victory but we can, and should be, ever proud of our current form. That equalizer was something special too.
Hopefully, depending on squad size/availability, I reckon we can go that one step further in the replay. Yes it’s on the tellybox (ITV4- after ‘The Sweeney’, before ‘The Professionals’), but hopefully the cheap tickets should gather a great crowd and atmosphere.
It’s easy to stay at home in the warm, but let’s look at it this way:
If we have a mad flurry of tickets bought over the coming days, maybe that little guaranteed cash-injection will work in our favour when we go to HMRC later this week, cap in hand, trousers round ankles…. Arses clenched.
Let’s turn up and sing up! (to the replay, not the tax hearing.)

Wednesday sees us at St James’ Park. Difficult under any circumstances but their 1 win in 5 league games may give us a little confidence boost. We are sure to be knackered and it’s unlikely that Claude will play but whatever the result, whatever the score, it’s going to be tough and coming away with nothing, shouldn’t dishearten anyone.
To those supporters brave enough to travel up there, all the best and don’t feel pressured to go topless like the locals. (Unless you’re a good looking lady and close to the cameras)

And finally… what may become a regular feature that I’m going to call:

Noades Knows.

I commented on Ron Noades last time and I don’t want to tread old ground too much. However, he’s still rambling on so why can’t I?
This week, Ron graced us with this-

“If David Gold had bought Palace and asked me to come back as a director I would’ve done that.
“I went to David and tried to persuade him to buy Crystal Palace instead of West Ham, because he lives locally and is a friend of mine.”

Again, thanks a bunch Ron. That must’ve really taken it out of you.
More if’s and hypothetical saintly deeds from the old sack of shitwind.
Should you like to deal in IF’s Ron, try this… “IF you weren’t such a money grabbing old mercenary (or ‘good businessman’ as some of his supporters put it), you wouldn’t have sent us down the swanny with that Goldberg shaped buffoon of a chairman. Remember Simon Jordan saying he’d only sell to someone who has the clubs best interests at heart? How cute, how apt and dare I say how honourable.
IF only Ron had the same attitude.

And with that thought, I give you a pleasant little ditty that I’ve entitled ‘D-DO ONE RON!’

Altogether now, sing along- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqgtsai2aKY

When he sold the club, he sold it to a clown-
D-DO ONE RON RON, D-DO ONE RON!
And even though he sold it, he still kept the ground -
D-DO ONE RON RON, D-DO ONE RON RON!

Yeeeeeah, he sold to a clown
Yeeeeeah, he kept the ground
And, his wife is a whore

So DO ONE RON RON, D-DO ONE RON!

Please, feel free to add your own verses below. It may take off in the stands

See you at Selhurst.


PTTP

“I’m never gonna Danns again…”

So… where to begin? Even though the match against Bristol City was abandoned whilst they were well on their way to the capital (shame), there still seems to be a fair amount to talk about. Even filthy Uncle Ron needs covering! (In both words and some sort of mildly irritating fluid.)

First of all, Gary Johnson’s narked off that the game was abandoned so late in the day… that day being the day before the game. The outrage! Well Gary, we were all disappointed. We all wanted to see the match to go ahead.

Let’ put a nice smear of perspective on the whole scenario:

• The Bristol City team coach departs on a 2-hour journey to SE25, confident that the game is on. They first become delayed due to a pitch inspection. They wait, but then continue. Then, tragically, the game gets called off and they have to go home.
• Meanwhile, the Togo national team’s coach departs on a 10(?) hour journey to Angola, confident that the ACON tournament is on. They enter the host’s nation and become delayed due to murderous bastards ripping into their coach with machine guns. Three dead, several injured and their national president demands they come home.

A real tragedy! Still want that inquiry Gary?


So, game off- Saturday ruined. A big hangover- and the tried and tested combo of Tasty Jerk /Palace match to help clear the cobwebs, wasn’t going to happen. Bad news. Oh well, onwards and upwards. Then the phone beeped- “Fonte-gone!”

Now, first and foremost, I thought Fonte was great! He was one of Peter Taylor’s plus points- along with nice manners, and a good hairline (for his age anyway).
However, as great as he was, the fact remains thus: we need money- pronto! pronto!
Whether we’re 3 points off the play-offs or relegation is irrelevant- our bare existence is at stake- league position is a mere number.

And to play devil’s advocate here- if… IF we’re going to get into the play-offs, Jose Fonte (with all due big respect) wasn’t going to have a great say in it. Speroni, Ambrose and Moses will. If the loss of Fonte prevents any of these three going, (or in Moses’ case, going to the first bidder’s paltry amount) then it is a sacrifice I would make again and again.
Any (logical) combination of Hill, Hills, Clyne, Butterfield, Davis, Ertl, Lawrence and even N’Diaye still makes a solid Championship defence. In my opinion, we don’t need to worry too much.

Slightly more concerning is that Neil Danns might be following Jose down the M3. He’s been a real dynamo this season. Finally fully fit, he has regularly demonstrated skill, guile and box-to-box prowess- a major factor in our current run of form. All that and he does a cracking cover of Kings Of Leon’s ‘Use Somebody’ http://www.myspace.com/dannzy1 . Ok, forget that last point.
If he has to be exchanged for some much-needed sterling, I’d want just as much as we got for Jose, if not a touch more.

With more takeover rumors flying around, mainly coming from Warnock which is either a) very positive or b) a natty trick to keep any incoming bids respectable, Ebeneezer Noades came out and gave his two pennyworth (which is quite generous for him) on the whole scenario.

Now I know general opinion on Noades is fairly split amongst Palace fans, but even his firmest of supporters must have baulked at some of his comments.

Criticizing Jordan for “failing to reunite club and ground” is fair comment… however, when you’re the person responsible for club and ground being two separate entities in the first place, (especially with manner in which he orchestrated the deal,) then it’s simply taking the piss-soaked biscuit. Thanks Ron, thanks a bunch.

All in all, a very interesting week considering no balls was kicked and a big thanks must go to the ground staff, who busted their balls in vein. A credit to the club.

All eyes now on consecutive visits to Plymouth, Wolverhampton and Newcastle!
Sounds like the back end of an East-17 reunion tour… without Tony Mortimer

PTTP

Warnock To Wednesday? Snow Chance!

First of all, let me start by wishing you all a very Happy 2000 and TEN!

Now to business:


We all know January brings out the worst in sports journalists (this blog doesn’t count, I’m not a professional!) and as we Palace fans fret over the future of our star player/team/squad/entire club, reports have emerged tenuously linking Neil Warnock with Sheffield Wednesday. Jesus H Corbett!

The report emerged in the gospel according to The Daily Mail- and the headline reads thus-

"Crystal Palace manager Neil Warnock fuels shock Sheffield Wednesday link!"

Gracious me! Could this be? Could Neil have become so fed up with the ever-growing problems at Selhurst Park that he would not only desert us, but also piss off every Sheffield United fan he ever won over? Maybe he’s gone mad!
Now being a Palace fan, nothing surprises me- so I read on expecting some petrol-like quotes from our manager to ground this report in at least some topsoil of reality.
Before I knew it, the article was over- nothing inflammatory, no substance, and a complete waste of eyes.

Take a couple of quotes from after the Sheffield Wednesday cup game (which aren’t even printed in the Mail’s article!) such as “Wednesday is a big club”, “They’ve got it all ready here”, “They can get 30,000 fans in” etc and that gives 2nd rate journos the opportunity to then produce the above headline/bull-excrement.
Palace fans know it’s not going to happen, Wednesday fans know it’s not going to happen and even Blades fans would chuckle reading that.

Lucky for the journos that they can spin such non-quotes from his autobiography ‘Made In Sheffield’ (and take note- released in 2007):

“Would me taking over at Wednesday be a possibility? Of course it's a possibility, why not? 'A job's a job and if you need a job you need a job”

Now if you’re going to base an article on that quote, then surely the headline should read:

‘Crystal Palace manager Neil Warnock says something perfectly sensible in his two year old book’

Yes, that’s what I thought, not worth writing, not worth reading, not worth printing- there’s too much truth in it for starters and this is the Daily Mail so it lacks that edge of Sachs-gate scandal.

So why do they bother?
We have perrrr-lenty of issues for them to talk about and embellish. We have a hot, hot, hot young English talent, drawing interest from all over the globe. A squad that continues to push towards the play-offs even though it’s been made out of lolly sticks and held together with pritt-stick! All notable achievements, given our clubs stature.
Or, should they insist on focusing on the negative- our financial woes are reflective of a much wider, bigger problem in English football. Two, London-based clubs, with recent Premier League experience AND an actual Premier League club, with recent FA Cup glory, £80million+ of player sales and two ‘big money’ takeovers- are all dangerously close to extinction!
Suddenly, the ‘problems’ covered heavily on the Sky Sports News hourly merry-go-round time bubble such as ‘Chelsea to be without Drogba for FIVE WHOLE games!!!’ and ‘Why won’t Robinho score loadsa goals away from home?’ don’t really seem that relevant or important anymore (not to me anyway).

Anyway, what is relevant is this weekends’ fixture against Bristol City. It’s currently snowing heavily which is great for those who want a day off tomorrow. However, if the game gets called off on Saturday, our revenue for this week is zero- making administration an even colder, slippery grave to fall into.
If it goes ahead, then Selhurst will be a bubblin’ hot cauldron of noise, passion and commitment- City are sure to bring a decent (in numbers, if not behaviour) crowd which would be much less if the game gets a midweek replay, and our attendances are gradually on the up anyway so hopefully, there’ll be a bit more cash in the coughers to keep us hanging on a little longer. Let’s hope so eh? And who knows, this time, we may get the correct amount of points in relation to the amount of goals we score. I know Christmas is over, but is that too much to ask?

See you all Saturday (hopefully). Wrap up, turn up, and sing up.


Power To The Palace


and as requested at the end of our last blog by 'mattoftheday'- ladies and gentlemen- Obi-1-Speroni